The "Only" Women

I've been thinking about the "only" women in my life - my mom, (my only mother) my sister, (my only female sibling) and my daughter (my only female child). My mom and my sister resemble each other, and my daughter resembles me. We're quite a foursome in my mind - each strong, independent, and probably more stubborn than we're willing to admit.

There are difference as well as similarities: we each married differently, nurture differently,cook differently, and serve differently. Mom raised six kids on one salary (Dad's). She was responsible for the "inside" work - and she had all six kids at her disposal. She and Dad grew up in the same valley, went to the same high school, and had the same values. My sister married a man who grew up in a whole other country - nothing like our small suburb of Brea. I married, divorced, and then really married. My daughter hasn't married - yet.

My mother nurtured by organization - each kid was color-coded into her daybook. My sister nurtured by design - she worked with each child differently, according to their personality. I don't really nurture at all. My daughter nurtures playfully. We have those same kind of divisions in our cuisine: Mom faithfully followed recipes, my sister followed a budget, I follow a whim, and Betsie plays with recipes, on a budget, whimsically.

We each serve - frequently and willingly - but in different ways. Mom served in leadership. She was able to provide a solid example of competent womanhood, piloting women to success. My sister serves by "shouldering" others to their best outcomes - she lets them cry on hers, while she supports theirs. She empathizes, then acts. I act (so as not to say "showboat"). My leadership is shaky at best - I'm far too self-absorbed to be effective. So, my service comes from grass roots - I pay, or play, on a very local level. My daughter serves the greater good. She sees a need a meets it, whether it's cookies or a quilt or a day in the temple each week.

Yet, each of these "only" women in my life are anything but alone. They were/ are each surrounded by people who adore them. Lifelong friends stay in close touch, new friends add texture and variety, and the family just gets bigger and better.

These women are my "only"s, but together we're lots.